A man writes to advice columnist R. Eric Thomas about his struggling marriage of 20 years. He and his wife have drifted apart, leading to her having an affair. Despite attempts to fix their relationship, they are now living separate lives in the same house, sleeping in separate rooms and working with mediators. The man is torn between wanting to save the marriage and feeling like it’s time to move on. He is frustrated by his wife’s lack of commitment to fixing their issues.
Thomas advises the man that it takes both partners to repair a relationship. If his wife is not actively working on fixing their marriage, she may have resigned herself to letting it sink. The man should have a frank conversation with his wife during mediation about their joint and individual plans for repair and their commitment to taking necessary steps. He needs to let her know that staying stuck in their current situation is hurting him and they need to find a way forward together.
Thomas empathizes with the man’s difficult situation and urges him to communicate openly with his wife about his feelings and desires for the future of their marriage. Whether they choose to work on repairing their relationship together or decide to part ways, they need to make a decision that is best for both of them.
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