In a recent Dear Miss Manners column, a reader expressed discomfort with the trend of receiving requests for crowdfunding funeral expenses. The reader mentioned receiving multiple solicitations for funds to bury family members, with the top donor and their amount highlighted. The most recent request asked for money to cover a 70-year-old cousin’s cremation, urn, jewelry made from ashes, a future celebration of life ceremony, and a tribute grove of trees. The reader felt that the requests were excessive and that the focus on money made expressions of condolences seem insincere.
Miss Manners advised the reader to refrain from donating except in dire cases and to do so anonymously to avoid the competitive aspect of crowdfunding. She suggested that families pay for such extras themselves if they deemed them necessary. Miss Manners emphasized that offering help in other ways, such as providing food or transportation, was a more meaningful and generous gesture.
While the reader’s dilemma may be relatable to others who are uncomfortable with crowdfunding funeral expenses, Miss Manners’ advice offers a thoughtful and tactful approach to handling these situations. It encourages readers to prioritize sincerity and generosity in their expressions of condolences, while also acknowledging the challenges of navigating modern social norms around mourning and financial support.
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