A 52-year-old grandmother is struggling with resentment towards her daughter who is not stepping up as a mother to her granddaughter. The grandmother is the main caregiver for her granddaughter and feels anger towards her daughter for not taking on more responsibility. She feels trapped in a situation she did not envision for herself at this age and is tired of paying for everything and doing all the heavy lifting.
The advice given to the grandmother is that she may need to shift her expectations and accept that her daughter may never change. It is suggested that she remind herself that she loves her daughter, even the parts she may not like, and frame her choices as being made out of love for her granddaughter and daughter. Setting boundaries with her daughter or finding ways to take back some of her own time are also recommended.
Ultimately, the grandmother is encouraged to keep pushing her daughter to take on more responsibility, even if she fails, as her granddaughter deserves a parent and she deserves to have a life of her own. The advice column suggests seeking small ways to regain some autonomy while continuing to provide care for her granddaughter.
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