After a 50-year marriage, a reader is facing divorce and wondering how to navigate family reunions and visits with ex-in-laws. The reader has a good relationship with their brothers- and sisters-in-law, particularly some of the brothers-in-law, but has avoided family reunions on the ex’s side during the marriage breakdown.
The reader wants to resume attending family reunions and visiting ex-in-laws after the divorce. They are wondering how to negotiate these interactions, especially since the relationship with the ex is cold and perfunctory. The reader wants to maintain lifelong relationships with the family.
Advice columnist R. Eric Thomas suggests having a conversation with the ex-wife to express interest in attending family events and gauging her feelings. This is to ensure she doesn’t feel uncomfortable or that the reader is usurping her space. Open communication can also help address any lingering resentments.
If the ex-wife is open to the reader attending, Thomas advises entering the family gatherings unencumbered and not dwelling on questions about the divorce. The reader has a long history with these relatives and can focus on enjoying the time together without getting caught up in the past.
Overall, the advice is to communicate openly with the ex-wife, respect her feelings, and focus on maintaining positive relationships with the extended family. By being transparent about intentions and entering the gatherings with an open mind, the reader can navigate family reunions post-divorce with grace.
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