A disappointed daughter shared her struggles with her strained relationship with her recovering alcoholic father, who has continuously disappointed her with his neglectful behavior. Despite trying to repair the relationship and even involving him in her wedding planning, he ghosted her after making promises to help and then accused her of using him for money.
The daughter is feeling hurt and tired of her father’s behavior and wonders when it is okay to give up on someone who continues to hurt her and speak poorly of her to others. Annie Lane advises that the father may be trying to make amends now that he is sober but emphasizes the importance of forgiving him not for his benefit, but to free herself from the hurt.
Lane suggests having an open and honest conversation with the father about the past, to see if forgiveness and repairing the relationship is possible. Ultimately, the decision on how much involvement the father should have in the daughter’s wedding is up to her, but working on the relationship may bring both of them some closure and peace.
The article concludes with a reminder that hurt people hurt people, and while the daughter has a right to be hurt by her father’s actions, addressing the past may help both parties move forward. Lane’s advice column is part of her anthology on relationships, offering guidance on marriage, infidelity, communication, and reconciliation. Readers are encouraged to send their questions to dearannie@creators.com for advice.
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