Writer’s Lament recently reached out to advice columnist R. Eric Thomas about feeling disappointed with his wife’s lack of interest in his writing. Despite asking for feedback, she has not shown any interest in his work, leaving him feeling insecure and seeking validation.
Thomas gently reminds the writer that loved ones may not always be the ideal audience for our work. It is important to accept that not everyone will appreciate or have the same level of interest in our writing as we do. Seeking out guidance from a writer’s group or colleagues who have the time and capacity to provide detailed feedback may be a better option.
While it is understandable to seek validation from those we love, it is important not to put that burden on them. Instead, focus on the joy of writing and seek feedback from editors and readers who are hungry for your work. It is not uncommon for spouses to have different interests and areas of passion, and that is perfectly okay.
It is crucial to let what is great about the marriage flourish and find validation and editing elsewhere. While it may be difficult to come to terms with, not everyone will be as invested in our work as we are. Ultimately, finding fulfillment in writing for oneself and seeking out feedback from those who can provide constructive criticism is the best way to continue to grow as a writer.
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