In a recent letter to advice columnist R. Eric Thomas, a reader expressed frustration with maintaining friendships that have become stale and burdensome over the years. The reader, who has known a group of girlfriends for over 50 years, feels disconnected from two of them due to changes in interests and lifestyles. Despite this, these two friends insist on frequent get-togethers, causing stress and exhaustion for the reader.
Friendship expert Anna Goldfarb advised the reader to be clear and assertive in communicating their desire to end these gatherings. Goldfarb suggested a kind but firm breakup script, emphasizing the importance of setting boundaries and prioritizing one’s own well-being. It is okay to disengage if these friends push back, as managing their disappointment is not the reader’s responsibility.
Goldfarb also highlighted the societal pressure placed on women to maintain relationships at all costs, even when they are no longer fulfilling. Ending friendships, just like romantic relationships, requires honesty and self-awareness.
In conclusion, it is essential to prioritize your own happiness and mental health in friendships that are no longer serving you. Setting boundaries, communicating clearly, and disengaging when necessary are all valid and important steps in ending unhealthy relationships. Remember that it is okay to outgrow friendships and prioritize your own needs.
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