A recent invitation to a “suitcase” shower for a friend’s daughter’s wedding took an unexpected turn for one guest. The event required attendees to bring gift cards since the bride lived out of town. However, when the gift cards were opened, it became clear that the family could not share or pass around the gifts, as they were all money on cards. The situation became even more awkward when the wedding invitation was passed around, revealing that some guests were not invited to the wedding.
The mother of the bride explained that not everyone was invited to the wedding because they may not have been able to afford to travel. The guest felt insulted by the exclusion and was further perplexed when she received an invitation to a backyard reception for the newlyweds. Despite already giving a gift, she felt pressured to give another and decided not to attend the reception, leading to a rift in her friendship with the bride’s family.
Miss Manners suggests that in such situations, it is best to gracefully excuse oneself from the event. The behavior of the family in flaunting the wedding invitation in front of those not invited was indeed insulting. Ultimately, the guest owes the family nothing but gratitude for revealing their true colors. Readers are encouraged to submit their etiquette queries to Miss Manners for advice on navigating social situations with grace and tact.
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