A 50-something woman living with her partner of 15 years seeks advice on how to address her family’s continued use of her ex-husband’s last name. Despite being divorced for over 20 years, her family still addresses her as Mrs. Green instead of her preferred title, Ms. Green. The woman is torn between continuing to ignore the issue or addressing it with her family, fearing it may open old wounds.
Advice columnist R. Eric Thomas suggests that the woman gently remind her family of her preferred title by simply stating that she uses Ms. instead of Mrs. and asking them to update their address book accordingly. Thomas reassures her that her family should be able to handle this change without causing a major crisis.
The columnist emphasizes the importance of using the woman’s actual name and encourages her to assert herself by communicating her preference to her family. He suggests that if her family continues to address her incorrectly, they may be sending a deliberate message that she is free to push back and return their correspondence.
Overall, the advice given to the woman is to respectfully assert her preference for being addressed as Ms. Green and to communicate this to her family in a kind and clear manner. Thomas concludes by inviting readers to send their own questions to him for advice in his column.
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