Dear Eric: A son is confused and hurt because his elderly father and stepmother, who have always been close, are now declining invitations to family gatherings and seem uninterested in getting together. Despite their good health, they have become increasingly busy and have trouble making plans. The son feels left out and unimportant, even though his father and stepmother are still affectionate and friendly on the phone.
Eric advises the son to adjust his expectations and be more understanding of his father and stepmother’s changing rhythms of life. He suggests being more flexible in making plans, offering to drop by spontaneously, and being patient with their scheduling difficulties. It is important to show love and support, even if it means putting in more effort to connect with loved ones.
Ultimately, the goal is to meet them where they are and find a balance that works for everyone. It’s a matter of adapting to the new dynamics of their relationship and being willing to make adjustments for the sake of maintaining a strong bond. Communication, understanding, and a willingness to be flexible are key in navigating this situation.
For more advice columns and to submit questions, readers can reach out to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com or follow him on Instagram and sign up for his newsletter at rericthomas.com.
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